Metal Gear Solid V: 16 things you missed in the trailer because you got drunk

Shoot The Barrel


As you may or may not know, legendary Japanese game developer Hideo Kojimer has revealed Metal Gear Solids: The Phantom Menace via the medium of a spectacular trailer. The game will be a tactical espionage hospital drama, like Scrubs, or Casualty, or ER, or Doogie Howser MD. You may have seen the trailer, but have you really seen the trailer, like really looked at it closely into the bits you can’t actually see? Probably not. So before we continue, look at the trailer here:

Now that you’ve ‘seen’ the trailer, here are 16 things you didn’t see in the trailer because you got drunk or passed out or something happened to you which incapacitated your eyes and diminished your ability to see. Lucky for you we know pretty much everything there is to know about Metal Gear Solids. Here’s what you missed:

1. (0.10) Something is being inserted into an orifice

In this dramatic bit at the start where it’s all white a voice can be heard saying “Intubate… NOW!” Intubate is a medical term which means ‘insert a tube into an orifice’. We can’t see any tubes or orifices so we assume the intubating must be occurring somewhere off-camera, possibly around the rectal area.

2. (0.16) The man on the bed is called ʻFOXʼ

Here we see a name badge. It looks like it says ‘FOY’ with a backwards ‘Y’, but the name is actually ‘FOX’ but a bit of the ‘X’ is obscured. The man’s name is ‘FOX’. He’s called Fox McCloud.

3. (0.58) The villain is Albert Wesker

This guy here is Albert Wesker from Resident Evil. We’re not sure what he’s doing in hospital but it’s probably something evil because he’s wearing black when everyone else is not wearing black. He also has sunglasses on indoors, so could be a vampire. Although the room does look pretty bright, so it might just be because of that. He could be hypersensitive to light or something.

4. (1.13) Fox is a pirate

The eye-patch is a dead giveaway here – main character Fox McCloud is a pirate, like in Assassin’s Creed 4. There is also a lot of gravy on his face, which tells us Fox likes eating pies. He’s a pie-rate.

5. (1.42) There are zombies in it

Another Resident Evil connection – this is clearly the first zombie encountered in the mansion in the first Resident Evil game. Look at the comparison and tell us we’re not right. We’re right. The zombie is probably working with Albert Wesker. We’re hoping Barry Burton will be available as DLC.

6. (1.50) This says XOF

This is clever. ‘XOF’ isn’t actually a word but it is an anagram of ‘FOX’, which is a type of urban dog that eats human babies. More pertinently, Fox is the name of Fox McCloud, which is the name of the main pirate character in the game.

7. (2.10) The game will be set in India

Here we’re given a big clue as to where Metal Gear Solids V will be set. The doctor is Ben Kingsley’s Gandhi and in the background is a map and a Union Jack, so there’s a strong suggestion this is the late 19th/early 20th Century Colonial India.

8. (2.13) Isnʼt this just like the prosthetic arm from the guy that kills Harrison Fordʼs wife in The Fugitive?

Definitely looks like it. Or are we thinking of another prosthetic arm from another film? Either way, we’re not sure what we’re talking about.

Having fun? So are we. The fun continues on the next page…

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