How much crime is in the new Grand Theft Auto V character trailers? That’s what we wanted to know so we thought we’d find out by counting and finding out. Here’s what we found out:
Crime #01: Running in the bike only lane
Opening shot is of crime, a minor one but still a crime. The two runners are clearly exercising in the bike only lane. The guy on the bike is not committing a crime, unless he’s cycling in the pedestrian only lane, in which case the police would be allowed to Taser him.
Crime #02: Domestic violence
You are not allowed to be violent on someone, even if it is a member of your own family and you’re in the privacy of your own home. It is a crime. Michael’s daughter could press charges after this incident, although we suspect she’ll take it no further than stomping off to her room in a sulk. We don’t know if Michael’s daughter will be a killable character.
Crime #03: Cycling/walking without due care and attention
There is definitely a crime being committed, but we’re not sure who is doing it. If the lady in the hat is in the bike only lane, then she’s doing the crime. But if she’s within a designated pedestrian area, she’s within her rights and it’s the cyclist doing the crime. We’d really need to interview some witnesses or examine CCTV footage of the incident before deciding who is guilty here.
Crime #04: Adultery
We might be jumping to conclusions but this scene implies Michael’s wife has been doing sex without her husband. This is a crime and constitutes grounds for divorce. We are not sure how this might unravel in-game because previous GTAs have never featured a married protagonist, so we’re not sure where Michael stands legally. He should consult a lawyer.
Crime #05: Armed robbery with explosions and dangerous driving
Deliberate crashing, doing explosions in a public place, pushing a person, and – most serious of all – actively robbing a security van while holding a gun. The perpetrator could get at least five years for a combination of crimes like this. In the game, time isn’t real and five years game time is equal to something like 10,000 dog years in a DeLorean.
Crime #06: Hitting
Unless it’s consensual, hitting is a crime and this doesn’t look like hitting with consent. Hitting is normally assigned to a button and a tutorial teaches you how to hit using the hit button.
Crime #07: Serial hitting
It’s one thing to hit one person once, but hit more people more than once and you are committing the crime of serial hitting, which is more serious than just hitting. There will probably be a stat to tell players how many people they hit during the course of the game.
Crime #08: Hitting a golf course
Although not as serious as hitting a person, hitting a golf course is still a crime, unless you own the golf course, in which case, legally, you’d be allowed to hit it as much as you liked. We think Michael drinks too much and is an aggressive person with a propensity for violent outbursts.
Crime #09: Armed robbery again
You can’t just walk into a jeweler shop, point a gun at someone and steal all the money. It is a crime. Although in the game you can do that and we suspect that not robbing the jeweler store will constitute the failure of an objective as the whole point of GTA is to commit crimes.
Crime #10: Possession of a firearm while hanging out of a helicopter
While possessing a firearm is not a crime, possessing a firearm while hanging out of a helicopter is very much against the law. Unless you’re a policeman and then it’s completely fine. Also, actors in movies are allowed to do it as long as it’s not a real gun. And vets in Australia. At least we think so. If you’re planning on hanging out of a helicopter while being in possession of a firearm, you might want to check with the internet first to see if you’re OK to do that. Just to be on the safe side.
Crime #11: Smashing through a window dressed funny with intent to cause physical harm and/or mental distress
Not completely sure what is happening here but it definitely looks illegal. Otherwise why not just come in through the door? Unless they’re interviewing for stunt men and the guy wanted to make a good impression. But we doubt it. We don’t like how the man is dressed funny while standing menacingly behind the other man. It looks illegal. And if it looks illegal, it probably is illegal.
Crime #12: Shooting a person
Unless it’s during a war or with a water pistol then shooting a person is a crime.
Crime #13: Reckless driving on a runway, not stopping at the scene of an accident
The only place you’re legally allowed to drive at an airport is in the car park – the runway is definitely against the law for cars. Especially when a plane is landing and police cars are exploding everywhere. You might get a reduced sentence if you stop to check to see if the police are OK.
There was quite a lot of crime in Michael’s trailer, next up is Franklin…